Can't wait to get our horses to montana!!!

WARNING some content may be mushy

Well what can I say?  I am one lucky girl.  If you would have asked me right after that picture if I could love that man more then I did right then the answer would have been no.  But guess what?  I was wrong.  Through it all he has stuck by me through thick and thin.  During the newlywed years when it was rough, we got married at 19 so we literally grew up together.  lol Sometimes we were a little childish.....okay a lot childish but it's fun to look back and laugh now.  Through sick children, and the healthy fiesty ones.  lol   He Stuck by me and I him through business ups and downs, job changes and moves.  But our love grows and grows.  What ever gets thrown our way we have learned to endure.........together.  How have we done this?  Well most of you who knew us before we were active in the church probably will say that there was a definate change in our marriage after being sealed in the temple.  The everlasting promise from our Heavenly Father keeps us going strong.  Knowing that the blessing of our marriage is not "till death do you part"  knowing that our family can be forever.  Knowing that through the covenants we have made no matter how bad it gets, no matter what gets thrown our way we have each other forever is what keeps us going.  I love you and this beautiful family we have built!!  I am so lucky to have all of you.....FOREVER!!

All of ME

Today is a hard day for me.  For many reasons.  I am having a hard time knowing the date of the auction is coming to pass.  The auction is the way I cope with having a sick child it gives me hope.    With all of the bad news in the news lately it is hard not to get discouraged.  But I try to stay positive.   I never realized how much courage the auction gives me every year.  To all of you who have ever attended the auction - THANKYOU!!! You will never know what it meant to me.  Heck I didn't even know what it meant to me until I had a year where I couldn't do it. 

Today I heard some news that a parent from a special needs blog I am involved in lost her son due to complications with pneumonia.  I can't imagine what that must be like.  The only words that came to my mind were the words of this song that has come to mean more and more to me as time goes on. The song is called all of me.  It was written by matthew hammit.  Excerpt below in the video
"All of Me" from Ryan Lynch on Vimeo.
. 

Afraid to love

Something that could break

Could I move on

If you were torn away?

And I'm so close to what I can't control

I can't give you half my heart

And pray He makes you whole

(Chorus)

You're gonna have all of me

You're gonna have all of me

'Cause you're worth every falling tear

You're worth facing any fear

You're gonna know all my love

Even if it's not enough

Enough to mend our broken hearts

But giving you all of me is where I'll start

I won't let sadness steal you from my arms

I won't let pain keep you from my heart

I'll trade the fear of all that I could lose

For every moment I share with you

Chorus

Heaven brought you to this moment, it's too wonderful to speak

You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me

So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed

You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me

Chorus (X2)

Thats all I can think, is that how can I pray that he makes Brody whole unless I am willing to give him all of me.  It doesn't just apply to Brody but to each of our children.  As mothers and fathers we have a responsibility to recklessly love our children even if we bleed.  How much time do we spend on computers, phones, watching tv ect.  So my challenge to you this Valentines day is for the rest of the year when your child asks you to read a book, or go play catch, or to sit and cuddle and you are on the phone, or watching your favorite tv show, or every bone in your body is begging you to go to sleep, are you giving half your heart? Or are you giving all of you?  Although as special needs parents most of us know we will outlive our children, let me be the first to say you never know when that moment could hit the unexpected person in your life and I want to know that I can say I have given all of me to those I love.