Saturday, February 11, 2012

All of ME

Today is a hard day for me.  For many reasons.  I am having a hard time knowing the date of the auction is coming to pass.  The auction is the way I cope with having a sick child it gives me hope.    With all of the bad news in the news lately it is hard not to get discouraged.  But I try to stay positive.   I never realized how much courage the auction gives me every year.  To all of you who have ever attended the auction - THANKYOU!!! You will never know what it meant to me.  Heck I didn't even know what it meant to me until I had a year where I couldn't do it. 

Today I heard some news that a parent from a special needs blog I am involved in lost her son due to complications with pneumonia.  I can't imagine what that must be like.  The only words that came to my mind were the words of this song that has come to mean more and more to me as time goes on. The song is called all of me.  It was written by matthew hammit.  Excerpt below in the video
"All of Me" from Ryan Lynch on Vimeo.

Afraid to love

Something that could break

Could I move on

If you were torn away?

And I'm so close to what I can't control

I can't give you half my heart

And pray He makes you whole


You're gonna have all of me

You're gonna have all of me

'Cause you're worth every falling tear

You're worth facing any fear

You're gonna know all my love

Even if it's not enough

Enough to mend our broken hearts

But giving you all of me is where I'll start

I won't let sadness steal you from my arms

I won't let pain keep you from my heart

I'll trade the fear of all that I could lose

For every moment I share with you


Heaven brought you to this moment, it's too wonderful to speak

You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me

So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed

You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me

Chorus (X2)

Thats all I can think, is that how can I pray that he makes Brody whole unless I am willing to give him all of me.  It doesn't just apply to Brody but to each of our children.  As mothers and fathers we have a responsibility to recklessly love our children even if we bleed.  How much time do we spend on computers, phones, watching tv ect.  So my challenge to you this Valentines day is for the rest of the year when your child asks you to read a book, or go play catch, or to sit and cuddle and you are on the phone, or watching your favorite tv show, or every bone in your body is begging you to go to sleep, are you giving half your heart? Or are you giving all of you?  Although as special needs parents most of us know we will outlive our children, let me be the first to say you never know when that moment could hit the unexpected person in your life and I want to know that I can say I have given all of me to those I love. 

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